My Body

My body. A case carrying life. My own, usually. Once, another as well. Breathe in, breathe out. My body. A case I now hardly recognize After another housed here. Bigger in places Odd in others Smaller in places I couldn’t have imagined before And soft. So soft. Different and Seemingly No longer my own. Embarrassment…

Our Baby’s First Home

To update y’all in the blog world: we are pregnant! 🎉The Lord blessed us with conception two months after our miscarriage. Our little Schweets is due July 30. Since the beginning of 2016 when we first started trying, Garrett and I had been seriously looking for a new place. We ultimately want to buy a…

how the loss of my baby gave me courage

The first time I believed I was pregnant was when I saw all traces of it at the bottom of a toilet. I have always been an avid worrier and a control freak – an unfortunate combination. Garrett and I decided in February of this year that we wanted to grow our family, and have…

Crashing on Memory Lane

Sometimes, nostalgia slaps you in the face. Stopping for gas in Redding after a long drive on a summer’s evening, I took in the sights, the smells, the heat. It hit me like a wave: unexpected and hard. Missing all things familiar, feeling homesick for it. Craving simpler times, when smaller problems had easier answers,…

j u n e • 4 • 2 0 1 4

As I left for work today, I had a wave of gratefulness wash over me. In a new season — new state, new home, new friends; leaving everything familiar behind — I found it dangerously easy to point my heart toward ingratitude. Seeing the past through rose-colored lenses, adding every uncomfortable situation to the “I…

Thoughts on Thoughts

As I lay on this couch with my husbands heavy arms around me as he sleeps on my shoulder, I try not to move for fear of waking him. With no easily accessible source of distraction, I am left to ponder life. I enjoy the embrace and his warmth and steady breath, but being alone…

Manna for 2013

Ann Voskamp’s One Thousand Gifts is our book club’s book for December: a book about gratefulness when it doesn’t make sense. I just moved from a very comfortable town that I’ve claimed for six years to a very new city in a very new state. Away from friends, community, church, hairdresser, Shannon the Eyebrow Whisperer…all relationships…

Psalms 25

O Lord, I give my life to you. I trust in you, my God! Do not let me be disgraced, or let my enemies rejoice in my defeat. No one who trusts in you will ever be disgraced, but disgrace comes to those who try to deceive others. Show me the right path, O Lord;…

Faith, not Fear

All during worship at church this morning, I prayed for confidence in Garrett and my decision to move somewhere unknown. Not having found jobs up there yet, we know that it is definitely going to be difficult, maybe even blow up in our faces, but nonetheless, I want us to move  o w n i…

Nice vs. Kind

Being Nice isn’t Always Kind I wish I had written that^

Two Different Faces

The Lord knows when you can’t go through life’s hardships alone, so he gives you a sister: a confidant; a reason to laugh when you’d rather not; a person who understands your exact emotions and inclinations because she is likely feeling the same; caring, sharing, every little thing that we are wearing (baha!); a being…

???

Moving. Why does that sound so dramatic and terrifying?  Is it because of change? Because it means leaving something behind? Stepping into the unknown?  Family. Friends. Church. Community. Money. Space. Support. Independence. Distance….. So many words are running through my head, so many thoughts — like flies in a mason jar, flying fast and erratic,…